Just like most little girls I had DREAMT about my wedding  my whole life! I wanted the big princess dress and the white horse the fancy bridal shower, all of it! The older I got the more movies I saw and the bigger my dreams for my wedding got. Then came collage suddenly the idea of having a wedding was no longer an ideal it seemed I was entering the age where it could become a reality. One by one the wedding invitations started to pour in. Each wedding just as beautiful and magical as the last. I was getting all the feels. I was dreaming of my wonderful wedding day so much that I literally started to tell all of my friends and family the exact day that I would have my wedding even though I was completely single at the time with no prospects in sight.

 

 

Then I discovered Pinterest! Guys if you used Pinterest to plan your wedding then you know how big my eyes were bulging out of my eyes at thing moment. A couple of years go by and all of my friends are now married and I’m still just a planning away little did I know I would soon meet the man who would make all my dreams come true. Spencer proposed to me on a beautiful September day at  a beautiful lighthouse. That day was magic. The next day I woke up and was immediately bombarded with questions!!!  What are you going to wear? that one was funny considering I bought my wedding dress the day I got engaged!!! I know you are probably thinking Bridezilla right well no I just knew what I wanted come on guys id only been planning my wedding my whole life no big deal.

 

 

I got to have my wedding on my dream  date that id picked 4 years prior to ever meeting my husband and he is absolutely my dream  guy but looking back I think about how my wedding really didn’t matter. I am forever grateful for all the hard work my family and his put into it. To all the wonderful friends who spent money to be in our wedding party! To all the guest and all the wonderful wedding gifts! But looking back I wouldn’t have done it the same way again. Don’t get me wrong my wedding was beautiful and magical and mine but so many things did not go as I “PLANNED”. We  spent much too much money and we were so busy taking pictures that we paid a fortune for and didn’t even receive all of them that we missed out on many of the “wedding moments”. If I had it to do all over it would be small and intimate and inexpensive and easy!

 

 

My husband and I have had a tremendously hard year. Every time I think about it or him not once does my wedding come to mind. I think about my marriage and my husband and how he’s my best friend and I miss him when he’s gone and I want to be anywhere he is. We have been through a move, a heartbreaking  struggle to conceive, financial struggle, job loss, you name it it’s happened to us in our second year of marriage. We were getting beat up on pretty badly so I wanted to do something special for my husband and I thought I’m going to surprise him on our anniversary.

 

 

We went to a wedding a few weeks ago and if you have been paying  attention then you know weddings are kind of my jam.  The second and I mean the second the pastor started speaking we looked at each other and were hanging on every single word this man was saying it suddenly dawned on the both of us at the same moment that we hadn’t been living out our vows. Don’t get me wrong no one had cheated or done anything remotely like that but originally when we said them I think we had just been making sure we didn’t go against them but it doesn’t necessarily mean we were living them either. Hear me out.

 

 

 I RECEIVE YOU AS A GIFT FROM GOD. A gift from God wow what an honor that he gave you to me! I haven’t treated you like a precious gift!

I COMMIT TO LOVE YOU WITH A DEEP AND LASTING REFLECTION OF CHRIST LOVE FOR ME. Whoa if Christ loved me the way I’ve been loving you  I’m not sure where I’d be.

I COMMIT TO GIVE YOU INEXHAUSTIBLE FORGIVENESS IN JESUS CHRIST. Wow have I forgiven you the way Jesus forgives me so freely?

This was right around the time of our proposal anniversary. So I  decided to move my surprise date up. WE NEEDED IT! So I blindfolded my husband and took him on a surprise date. We are not members  of the church we were married in so we literally have not stepped foot inside since we walked away as man and wife together. I arranged to have the sanctuary private for just him and I. We read these wows and prayed together and read scripture together alone in the spot where we first said I do and let me tell you it blew my wedding out of the water. It was one of the most special moments in our lives. We needed some hope and being there just renewed our promise to love one another and be there no matter what. Now you may be thinking ” I loved my wedding it was wonderful” and I’m so happy for you I am! I loved my wedding too but my point is weddings do not matter Marriage matters more than any kind of wedding you could ever have whether you spend $10 or $10,000. I encourage you if you are engaged to think about my words. My story may not be your story but one the remains long after your wedding photos are out of style LOVE and MARRIAGE never will be. If you are married already be it 3 years or 30 I encourage you to live out your vows really thinking about what each word truly means. I pray for my marriage and all of yours that you draw closer to God. That your marriage be a testimony to your faith. That you fulfill  the responsibilities you have to one another as husband and wife. That you RUN to God  in times of trouble and good health. That you’ll stand strong against this worlds pull. That you will encourage each other with your words and your actions. That you treat each other with patience, and that God will place a hedge of protection around your marriage . As beautiful as my wedding was I pray  to have a marriage that’s 100 times more beautiful than any wedding I could ever dream of.